You know that feeling of anticipation when you work incredibly hard at something for months and months? The notion that if you just do all the right things and follow the best plan possible, you’ll accomplish the goals you’ve set for yourself? Yeah, in a perfect world, that always works out but what happens when you DON’T reach your goals in the end? When everything you thought was going to happen, doesn’t actually pan out at all… nobody really teaches us how to deal with that kind of mental blow.
I’ve personally been struggling with this for the past several days. I’ve been searching for a way to deal with some recent setbacks and disappointments but nothing seems to take the sting away. I’ve been bitter, angry and full of hurt but the more I surrounded myself with sadness, the worse things continued to get. I became a giant one-person pity party and all my previous posts about “embracing life” and “not wasting time,” went out the window and were replaced by feelings of hurt and regret.
So how do you shake that? How can you pull yourself out of a place that makes you miserable? It’s actually pretty easy — you try to forget. I know it probably sounds silly, but the truth of the matter is, it’s a pretty powerful trick your brain can play if you just let it. I’m not talking about running away from your problems, but I am suggesting you stop thinking about yourself for a little bit and focus on what’s been going on around you, while you’ve been in the middle of that mental “moody blues-fest” inside your head. (I’m obviously speaking about myself here) What are the things that DIDN’T go wrong today…starting with the simple act of climbing out of bed. Who are the people that make you happy? The people who’ve made you laugh when all you wanted to do was cry? Even just the decision to focus on something other than yourself can be enough to get your mind moving in the right direction, if not making a complete 180. Today I stood in a downpour, waiting for a dear friend to finish a pretty miserable race, and after it was over, it felt like my own sadness had just washed away with that steady rain.
When you’re deeply hurt or angry, the only thing you can control is how YOU react. You can choose to stay in your current state or make an important decision to change. Stop worrying about the “what if’s” and start focusing on “right now.” There are people in your life who need you and were willing to wait while you took a life time-out, but now it’s time to stop stalling and get back on track. When I say “forget about your disappointments,” I’m very aware it’s not an easy thing to do. But the sooner you can make peace and move on, the better, because the only person you’re truly hurting if you don’t, is you.